When we refer to health, it is not just the physical body that is being talked about. Holistically speaking, health encompasses one’s mental and emotional states as well. As much as may go unrealized, one’s emotional well-being is closely tied and crucial to physical health.
Emotionally healthy individuals are better able to manage their thoughts, feelings, and attitudes, thereby coping well with life’s challenges. The American Psychological Association considers our great country to be one of collective trauma. People are suffering from poor mental and emotional well-being.
The foundation for enduring emotional strength is laid during the formative years of life. If neglected, the child may suffer from emotional dysregulation (ED), which already affects 5% of our population’s children and adolescents. Is your little one or a child under your care suffering from ED?
If yes, then this article will help you support them. Even if you’re unsure, keep reading to find out more about emotional dysregulation among children and ways to reverse the problem.
Recognizing the Signs
Let’s start by describing emotional dysregulation among children in brief. It is referred to a condition in which the child finds itself unable to produce an appropriate response to a baseline. In other words, children with ED find it difficult to manage their emotions and respond reasonably in a particular social setting.
ED can manifest itself through a wide range of behaviors or responses, including the following.
- Emotional – Being unable to manage emotional responses, excessive display of emotions, difficulty identifying various emotions
- Social – High anxiety levels, exhibiting unreasonably intense emotions, withdrawal and isolation, inability to be flexible
- Behavioral – Dramatic outbursts, challenges in self-soothing
- Verbal – Constant yelling and shouting, uncontrolled crying
Understanding the Reasons
To begin with, the Cleveland Clinic states that emotional dysregulation is a sign of issues with how different areas of the brain work. This means it may simply be a symptom of other mental conditions like depression or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
ED is also commonly found among those who are neurodivergent or whose brains have developed differently than expected. Another possible cause for this condition may be damage to certain areas of the brain. This may happen due to infections or seizures.
Sometimes, ED may be due to a combination of innate and learned behaviors. The former would include babies who have had problems with self-soothing. On growing older, they may get distressed to bathe or put on clothes by themselves.
If the underlying cause is present in the child’s environment, the parents may have a hand in it. In other words, parents giving in to their child’s tantrums each time are subtly teaching them to ‘outsource’ self-regulation. The child will, as a result, not be able to develop healthy emotional self-regulation.
Helping a Child to Self-Regulate Emotions
Now that we’ve touched upon the signs and causes of emotional dysregulation among children, let’s look at some solutions. Listed below are three ways parents and caregivers can help their child manage their emotions.
Seek Professional Support
What’s interesting to note is that acting out may not be an inappropriate response after all. The executive director of Winston Prep schools, Scott Bezsylko, considers it to be a normal part of responding to a stimulus. However, the child does need help to calm down so they can ensure their response is effective and not just impulsive.
Emotional self-regulation may be instilled just like any other skill – through isolating that skill and providing practice. We understand that this may be a challenge for parents, which is why it is best to seek professional support.
You can rely on experienced child welfare specialists who can educate you better on your child’s behavioral patterns and their causes. The work of these professionals comes under the purview of social work for children. These professionals have generally completed offline or online MSW programs with advanced standing for specialized clinical and community-setting approaches.
According to the University, such professionals are prepared to participate in policy developments and implement new systems of change. This means they can be trusted to help you and your child get to the other side of the ED safely. To elaborate, child welfare specialists will help in the following ways –
- They will help you understand the impact of your child’s ED on daily life.
- They may recommend some good after-school programs or in-home strategies to tackle the problem.
- You may get familiarized with effective strategies that help your child slow down and enjoy a better quality of life.
- In some cases, they may have other professionals join in and act as an advocate for the child.
- If they perceive a dangerous situation, the child will be immediately removed.
Conduct Practice Runs
Another way to scaffold self-regulation among children is to conduct dry runs. Suppose a child has constantly been throwing a tantrum in the store. This is impulsive behavior to get what they want. With proper counseling and discipline, parents can conduct dry runs.
They can take their child for a short trip to the store. The child must be instructed to keep their hands to themselves and not insist on purchasing any toy. If they’re successful, they can be rewarded with their favorite chocolate or something else (not the toy!).
Sometimes, parents get discouraged because it’s simply the starting point. Consistency and time make a powerful combination that can help your child self-regulate their emotions. Take it slow, but keep the practice steady.
Another example would be a child facing a meltdown every time they need to get ready early in the morning. Parents can start by setting smaller goals like brushing their teeth at a specific time, finishing breakfast, and getting dressed.
Each time the child follows the timeline, they can be given positive feedback. It is not good to offer treats or other material rewards each time since that may also become a habit. Encouragement will go a long way in helping the child manage their emotions.
Promote Self-Reflection
What’s worse than a child reacting impulsively is a parent or caregiver doing the same in response. No matter how difficult the child may seem, remember that negativity only breeds negativity.
Parents must respond calmly, allowing the child time to reflect on their words or actions. The feedback must be non-judgmental and non-emotional on the elder’s behalf. Let the child know what they did wrong, why it is wrong, and how they can fix it the next time.
An analytical and reflective environment will allow children the space to think critically about their actions. The more self-aware they become, the better they will be able to manage their emotions.
In closing, we would like to reiterate the importance of emotional self-regulation, even as a child. If neglected, kids with ED will carry this issue into adulthood; it will not vanish on its own. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) lists a loss of appetite, helplessness, and anger as signs of emotional distress in adults.
It becomes a lot harder to deal with such a condition later in life, especially if it accompanies a mental health disorder. As they say, it’s easier to build strong children than repair broken adults.